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This sameness of purpose and activity limits the power difference between the two partners. Sure, one can go top and the other bottom, or you can slap your partner's ass, but in the end you are both "having sex", doing the same thing. In oral sex, on the other hand, there is no doubt that the two partners are engaged in very different activities (one giving and the other receiving) which makes a real difference in power possible. The giver may be submissive (offering pleasure to her/his partner for nothing in return) or dominant (holding the power of one of the most primal urges in his/her mouth), but s/he cannot be equal.Some background might help you understand why this idea holds such appeal to me. I was born in mainland China to a relatively conservative Chinese family. My father's family had been Westernized Catholic bourgeoisie before the revolution, and despite his total apathy to all things theological the Church's strict asceticism had a formative impact on him. My mother's. Eric tried to stop me, but I managed to dodge around him and I slammed that door behind me, locking it. Again, looking back, it's only a matter of chance that I went to the bedroom and not to the bathroom. If I'd made it to the bathroom, I would've drawn the tub full of hot water and soaked myself right out of this suit, and right out of the most fascinating, satisfying and profitable years of my life. As it was, I was locked into the bedroom, screaming and crying. Eric and Nancy tried to get me to come out, but I wouldn't. I couldn't face them. I couldn't face myself! I methodically broke every mirror in the bedroom, even the little ones in compacts of makeup. I couldn't bear to look at myself.Finally, after I had been freaking out in that bedroom for maybe a half hour, I heard Eric calling to me saying,"Look, JIMMY! If you don't come out of there and talk to me, I'm going to have to use that command phrase and make you come out against your will. Now I don't want to do that, but.
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